There’s always a shift in culture. It is never static. And there are times when the discontinuities of the changes accumulate. Then suddenly, it’s a new world. Sometimes, but not always, for the better. While adaptive challenges require new imagination, we also need to carry along foundational truths about humanity, virtue, and purpose. I’ll be thinking about some of these basics that we need to carry along as the world turns, and turns, and…
We don’t learn from experience.
We learn nothing from experience. But with a little help, some of the lessons begin to stick.
I used to have a consulting colleague who was fond of informing our clients, “You learn nothing from experience. You learn from reflection, articulation, and documentation.”
Reflection: a process of reviewing and replaying with analysis. Beginning with awareness. Start being present.
Articulation: weaving a story of an event, telling it to others and receiving their empathy or insight or curiosity.
And documentation: a new policy guideline, a personal journal entry, a reminder to hold one accountable.
A Story of Reflection
An Autobiography in Five Chapters, by Portia Nelson (aka Sister Berthe in The Soud of Music).
Chapter 1
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in. I am lost….I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter 2
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter 3
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I fall in….it’s a habit…but my eyes are open.
I know where I am. It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter 4
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter 5
I walk down a different street.
Walking Down a Different Street
I have reflected on this simple story so many times. Personally, I think about it when I continually bump into the same furniture, or get someone’s name wrong, or miss a bill payment.
I’ll tell this story when consulting for organizations with reoccurring experiences of damaging conflict, or unclear objectives, or patterns of poor decisions. And as they begin to reflect and tell stories, pictures begin to emerge of alternatives. They don’t have to keep falling into the familiar holes.
When patterns of failure repeat, we sometimes have a short-circuit and we have to become more diligent to override the tendency to let the synapses fire habitually with their silent sigh, “that’s just the way it is, somethings will never change.”
As a way of reinforcing our limited view of our experience, we settle into routines. Routines mean we do not have to pay attention; we can go on autopilot. Lack of attention prevents reflection. Scrolling for a dopamine hit looking for likes, or doom scrolling with a cortisol spike, muzzles reflection.
Experience is a slow teacher. A patient teacher, willing to provide the same input over and over. And frequently a painful teacher. If reflection does not begin, neither does learning. And as soon as reflection begins, learning begins.